My Asian-American Identity Crisis



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    Am Vor 10 Tage


    1. Linnéa Ljunglöf Åström

      That part about understanding but not being able to answer. I have a one year younger friend that is from an arabic family, but they live in Europe now, if I remember correctly she is either born in Europe or they moved wjen she was just a baby. She can understand arabic but is too insecure about her arabic to actually have a full conversation in arabic.

    2. Red Ruby

      I can relate to this so hard. I'm German, i was born here, i live here and i don't wanna move away from here (as far as i can tell right now). But my whole family is trying to teach me Russian. I can kinda understand what they are saying but i can't reply anything in Russian. My grandma is kinda judging me for this and i am sure there are more family members who think the same way. I just don't want to learn it because i was stuggling so long with learning English (i guess i still struggle but not this hard as it was). I'm thankfull for this Video! You're motivate me. c:

    3. Nisa Heng

      Lol I’m Asian too and my English is awesome it was my first language but some people think I’m American 😅

    4. Hashtagion

      All i speak is globble fish

    5. Hashtagion

      Me:is everybody asian? Me:*I STILL DONT KNOW THE ANSWER*

    6. SitokiTV

      That's exactly like me but in polish. I was born in England and I'm used to using it. I barely have any polish friends and if anything I talk English to them- thank you for the video!

    7. PurpleKelp

      Uh... she draws anime Oh, ew Yeah I know Me: I feel internal shame

    8. ron

      you’re telling me emirichu is a monbebe? yES

    9. Raven's Messenger

      I've gone through almost the exact same thing. My dad is Native American, but I live in a town pretty much entirely German and French people. Whenever we would drive the 12 hours to get together with his family, it would feel so strange to be around my cousin's and older people who would all be speaking Comanche and know what's going on and they would dress up in regalia and everything but I would never be able to relate. What this video has taught me however is that I have all the time in my life to learn. I don't need to know right now.

    10. Chris Torsu

      You should make another Chanel for drawing tutorials

    11. Gaming Brawl stars

      1 millions of times

    12. Xavius Foster

      I’m half white and half Hispanic..... and know no Spanish

    13. LunaOjeda-Loydii

      I'm not korean but I am second generation Mexican American, and I just never picked up on spanish and with other factors in my life it made me feel ashamed of my roots and not knowing my mother language. I understand how you feel/must've felt on a to an extent.

    14. Dason Lee

      Yea although I’m Chinese I can speak it but I can’t read and write it

    15. JaiesWolf

      I'm puertorican but I connect more with American culture and language. Idk why

    16. skylar yoon

      if it helps at all, the only reason i can at least speak korean is because my mom didn't allow me to speak in english in the house and she didn't learn it. she made me take lessons and i was miserable and cried a lot. the only plus side is to have private conversations in public and to be able to respond to my family members. every time they tell me my koreans gotten better but it's the only part of me that they're proud of. lol

    17. Weeb Blue Anima

      this is literally me-

    18. Kyle Lim

      As a Korean who moved to the Philippines at a very young age, I thought my brother was the only one who can understand my somewhat identity crisis but watching this video made me realize that there are a lot of Koreans out there who goes through the same problems as I have. I love this video!! P.S. Not gonna lie, yes. Old Korean people do stare a lot HAHAHAHHA

    19. hyperneko018

      Had this issue with my Mexican Heritage growing up in the US, though it was made worse when my siblings all picked it up and I didn't. I'm also the lightest of the family skin-wise so I was always the odd one out. I did eventually become Japanese. I'm more aware and proud of my heritage now, especially now that I'm an English Teacher here in Tokyo and I'm a sort of ambassador for my culture, both American and Mexican. Still need to work on Spanish....someday.

    20. not the kids

      I feel the same way when I moved back to my home country (Philippines). It's like I suddenly forgot my entire language and that I wasn't able to communicate properly with other kids. I know how to speak tagalog decently but I still feel like I'm being labelled as an english speaker when I'm capable enough of speaking both.

    21. Japman Kaur

      I Am Indian And Everybody Says That My Accent Is Italian And I Am Like Umm There's Not Even A Single Thing In My DNA Which Does That Accent

    22. Christian Izac Zaragoza

      This describes my life as a Hispanic who can't speak Spanish and my relationship of most of my mom's family. Everytime I visit my grandparents, they always ask if I learned to speak Spanish; if I say no, they get a little offended and reply "Why Not?" Not knowing Spanish embarrassing for me, especially when I go to parties where the majority of my mom's family only speak Spanish. The only people I can speak English to are my mom, aunts, and some cousins. As for my dad's family, I never really had an issue with them and feel confident of not speaking Spanish. They are a Mexican family too, but are mostly bilingual and speak English most of them time. Although I don't speak Spanish and feel like a disgrace to my culture, I still njoy listening to Spanish Rock and been trying learn to play some Flamenco on a Spanish Guitar.

    23. Centurian Tale

      I'm kinda the opposite. Though I'm not like.. asian or something growing up in american. No. I'm a caucasian american. But I've always had a BIG thing for language learning and am currently learning more than at least 5 LANGUAGES SIMULATANEOSLY- And that is something I take great pride in. (I'm currently prioritizing Japanese as that is the language I am farthest in and the language I started learning first. Though you'd think spanish would be a priority so I could talk to my mom in private conversations because my brother likes to sometimes listen in. Can't listen in on a conversation if you don't know the language lol. (My mom was kinda forced to learn spanish from an ex before my dad)) but I get the language thing. I tried learning Korean and gave up after a few lessons because I couldn't figure out the characters well enough. And Vietnamese I gave up on instantly (my sister lOVES asian guys is currently dating a vietnamese dude (she also has a vietnamese friend, who she dated before this dude) who's english isn't the best so you'd have to talk slower for him. I wanna learn some to try and talk to him amd my sisters friend. Something new, y'know?) I have a lot of different motives for becoming multi-lingual. Mostly a hobby. But I do understand the language issue. Languages are hard to learn especially if you've been speaking one constant language most your life, you may know some words in a different language but you might not be able to speak it. Something like this happened but instead of hearing it was by word, if that makes sense? My mom put up cards on the wall and fridge and some decorations on the wall, with the spanish word for it and then the english translation to try and teach us a bit of spanish, I can still only remember a bit. And I understand the self consciousness. I go to a lot of asian food places, one place I love the most being japanese, with japanese speakers. But since my japanese isn't the best, and I don't know how to properly order yet, I'm afraid to speak in their language. I'm even afraid to just greet them, despite me knowing greetings in that language. (And yet my brother managed to say goodbye in japanese, still butchered though lol. Yes they said bye back) the self consciousness is definitely something I also relate to though I dunno the point of this comment. I started rambling and lost track.

    24. Sophie Joo

      This is creepily similar to my life.

    25. Vecthur

      So are you learning korean?

    26. Anetka Labajova

      My parents are from Slovakia but i was born in Czech Republic meaning from the time i was born i was forced to peak 2 languages. Of course the 2 languages ate very similar so it wasn’t that hard but we mooved back to Slovakia it got worse I started going to school and had to learn English and German. I picked up English very fas and was the best in my class but when i was focusing on English the German and Slovak grammer whould get messed up. I had to switch between 4 languages to make shoure I wasn’t forgetting anything but that was too much so I kinda dropped Czech I knew we weren’t going to return so why bother? I still know how to speak in Czech but all of the grammar just flew over my head it was so simular to Slovak that all if the words got mixed. I’m only 12 and had to learn 4 languages fluently like bruh so it makes me sad when someone on the internet points out my bad English grammar i was always more of a speaker that I writer so i am still bad at grammar in all of the languages I speak but fore some reason i sound like a fluent peron who was born in that specific country like hsjsnsjsjksnsjkskdjsjsjs 🤷‍♀️

    27. Liset Vega

      I've been there, I moved to the US from Cuba when I was two. I've struggled with learning Spanish when I was young and would literally shout at my parents that I hated the language. My older sister had to be my translator to my parents for years because my parents had to work long hours (being immigrants and all) so I mostly spoke English. Don't get me wrong, I understood everything my parents said but I could never bring myself to speak spanish back at them. Eventually I got more comfortable with it and I accepted my identity as Cuban. Now it kinda bothers me when I'm assumed to be white (I'm lightskin) because I've made my nationality and mixed race a big part of myself.

    28. k00ma

      as a hispanic ive felt the same way about my background. both of my parents speak fluent spanish and would talk to me in spanish but i wasnt able to hear til the age of 3 and had ear surgery with speech therapy for english. as of right now, i can barely hold a conversation. and speaking to my family it made me feel ashamed of not knowing spanish from a young age like my cousins or my tios and tias (uncles and aunts) but now im starting to be introduced to my background thru music and im starting to try to learn spanish and start speaking my native language.

    29. エンタープライズThe Lucky yandere E

      When I went to China again, the people there was like: "wOw! oMg! yOu hAvE pErFecT eNgLiSh! a pRoDiGy!"

    30. SleepyJakey

      *I got 88 and I cried* I see... so your one of them :l

    31. Sweet Star

      I understand how you feel, I can't speak proper spanish and I feel really bad and didn't feel part of my family. I never got taught because my parents were very young when they had me, they slowly divorced and I didn't really have time to learn spanish, I never really wanted to do it. Most of my family knows spanish except me and my brothers. It's difficult cause some of my family only speak spanish, so I never has a proper conversation. I understand a bit of it, but it never feels like enough. To my mexican friends I usually pretend I know spanish, cause I feel like I SHOULD know it. That's just how I feel...

    32. Ramen and puppies

      I'm Puerto Rican and white. My dad has blonde hair and blue eyes, super white. and my mother is dark skinned and with curly black hair. Personally, I've never felt that it'd be better off if I had parents that were the same ethnicity, I've always been happy that different people can love each other. But I have been struggling with an identity thing, and I've never really had the space seeing how other people can relate to a similar situation (I don't have any other mixed friends in my area). I grew up super americanized, English as my first language, still trying to learn Spanish. The problem I have is that I look white, and only white. no one would ever know that i'm not *just* white, the only hispanic trait I have is that my hair is a dark brown and its kinda wavy. But my brother looks hispanic. he has the curly hair and the dark brown skin - he teases me that me and my dad are the white ones and he and my mom are the hispanic ones. There was a list of scholarships and one of them was geared toward POC, and I am hispanic but I felt uncomfortable looking into that one. But if my brother, same parents and all, would look into the same scholarship would it be more appropriate? we're both the same ethnicity. It just got me thinking of if I am really "hispanic" because I don't look the part, maybe i'm not connected enough to the culture, maybe this maybe that where's the line. I look up articles online and read up, but I don't want to be told what im supposed to be classified as, I'd like to understand it and Come to terms. Honestly I wish I looked more hispanic. I'm an artist and most of the women I draw have dark skin and long, voluminous curly hair. perhaps that's me subconsciously being like "thats what I should look like. then there'd be no doubt." Maybe I just want confirmation that im not "pretending" to be hispanic (if that makes sense) because mostly it feels that way because I look straight up white. I'm sure people are going through the same sort of feelings, can you relate? If so, what do you think? How do you feel? What has helped? it'd be nice to see what others say :) TLDR: i'm hispanic / white but just look white. Mostly I feel like I'm "pretending" to be hispanic because of the way I look/am perceived. Anyone experiencing the same?

    33. scheskatorce

      I was born in 1990 and raised in Mexico. Those were interesting times, since i remember as a little kid that, i liked a lot of US cartoons and a little anime (that last one i would learn to love even more as i grew up, cartoons as well, i love animation), and very prone to visually consume US products (which back then weren't so easy to get in Mexico), that was because my Dad got us cable tv and i was addicted to watch Cartoon Network, that latin american version of the channel used to mix in shows not dubbed in spanish as well as commercials. I guess this first thing was because of he was worried that i was very consumist... But i recall when i showed interest in any way of US product he was like 'no, dont consume those gringo stuff, just mexican' but this stuff ocurred also with music and artists... Like if i hated automatically my country's stuff or culture because of it, and Mexico of course has awesome stuff like any other country (and shit, like telenovelas, i fucking hated them and still do, face it already, they were never cool), back then i liked a lot of mexican Rock (Maldita Vecindad, Molotov, etc) as well as crafts, food, and felt very identified with Mexico. It was very upsetting to face that rejection, because that way of thinking was found with my dad, some uncles and others i knew in those years (not anymore, thankfully). One memory i have is watching the opening ceremony for the 1996 Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta on tv and watching every sports federation of every country on a parade. I was charmed by the flags, the clothing, how different they were, was very overjoyed when Mexico's Federation appeared on screen as well... Looking back i realized that i wanted to know more outside of my territory, to know, learn and share with people of other lands, stories, experiences... While also embracing my Mexican identity, which i will never deny, of course. Nowdays it really makes me sad how many are trying to divide us and spread hatred in many ways. There are many of us who would rather to sit and have a coffe or a beer with someone and have a good chat with some friend from home or abroad. Today besides my mother language i speak english, german and i'm learning japanese at the moment, and i can tell you this: if you have an interest, look for it, get to know it, research, maybe you will find yourself with a new world to explore and enjoy. If you made it down here. I thank you for your time and wish you a good day. ¡Gracias! Thank you! Vielen Dank! ありがとう!

    34. XxPanic attackxX

      Im half Chinese half Arabian- and i can't even speak a proper Arabic- i hate my life :') AND I CAN'T EVEN SPEAK A PROPER CHINESE- :"( and i speak English fluently with my brother etc. And friends TwT my english suck tho-

    35. Sea Pinecone

      Lol I have never lived in the Uk even though I’m from there, and my family have always teased me because I sound “American”, using that as an insult and making me feel insecure about it. It’s not that bad, but as a result I’ve really tried watching British you tubers and stuff in order to get more of an accent. I’m getting over that now though, because I truly connect with my family and country, and I have a pretty strong connection to that, so I know I’m British either way, whether I have an accent or not. But it still hurts that in my family’s eyes I’m not like them, I’m some sort of joke of a nationality. I feel such a strong connection to my country, even if I don’t have an accent and I use American mannerisms.

    36. Wealthon Flores

      Honestly, my parents are full blooded filipino, while my brother, sister, and I were born in America. The only problem is we are 2nd generation filipino's who don't know tagalog, while the rest of my family does. (Out of ~200 of my family, only us 3 don't know tagalog well, heck even my cousins who are younger than us who were born in the U.S as well know more tagalog than us.) In the beginning I was made fun of as I was in a more white school with kids whose families were very rich for a public school. So the tendencies of being bullied as they are more spoiled was quite high. In the beginning though because I had my family and I was more enclosed that others, I was able to get use to not caring about what others said and embraced being filipino. Though I was quite sad as my parents were told it was better for them to teach us only English by my teachers, which I thought was stupid when I heard it, but the damage was done and I couldn't revert time to tell my parents to teach us tagalog. To be honest it would've been better if we struggled as we were in America so english would've been taught easily as it was everywhere.

    37. NERDY SAN

      This is just me but my parents try their best to keep me comfortable for who I am and what I know

    38. Tea Moon

      Я одна задаюсь вопросом, что я тут делаю? -^- Кстати, я не знаю ангийский язык и не понимаю о чём этот ролик... Но я его смотрю :D

    39. i'm auri!

      i’m part mexican and i’ve been going through a crisis myself,, ive been trying to connect more w my mexican culture but i’m rlly scared of any judgement bc i look white and i’m pretty culturally white-washed. it’s kinda comforting to know other ppl go through stuff like this bc my friends don’t rlly understand 😅😅

    40. Daester_YT

      I've watch the story aboat and sulton and it made my question life, life is hard right now and I would like to change to way I am from lisening to that story

    41. Tan Wei Jia

      I related to this like a lot! Lol, I am Chinese and in China there is a language ( I'm not sure how to say) where its LIKE Chinese but pronounced differently its hokkien but kinda different. So I'm just like Emily where I can only understand it but not speak it! And whenever my mom or dad makes a comment in that language I always say "I can hear you!!!"

    42. Azure Striker

      I have a similar situation where I can barely speak any Spanish despite being Hispanic. I've occasionally had moments where I'm embarrassed since I feel like I should know more about my culture, and feel annoyed when someone assumes I speak Spanish and try speaking to me in it. However, for a couple of reasons, it never developed into a huge resentment. My family has been in the States for several generations now, so even if we visit, they all live in here and speak English well. Plenty of my family still prefer to speak Spanish, and I still can feel some some minor disappointment when they find out I can't, but we don't have language barrier issues to deal with. I also grew up with a learning disability. Reading and writing were genuine torture for me. As such, my parents never really tried to get me to learn Spanish when I was little. When I finally got better with reading and writing, they did start encouraging it. I did feel a sort of obligation, so I tried to learn it in my Spanish classes. Though it just never really clicked with me. After getting by with decent grades for 3 years of Spanish, I gave up. I genuinely enjoy learning more about the culture and listening to Spanish music. However, without a strong personal reason for learning the language, I've just accepted not knowing it.

    43. Fossa

      hey ik this is probs not the best video to recommend this on but i have two shows i would love to see you react to if you have not yet watched them the first is "the seven deadly sins" probably seen that since it popular and the second is "is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon" i will be honest i dont watch much anime myself but i highly recommend them and i would love to see a reaction video if you would make one but its just a suggestion

    44. Yaira Batista

      My mom : i'm only going to speak to you in spanish Me : Starts crying*

    45. jazmine lopez

      Hello , my name is Jazmine and I know this was out for a whole week already and I have almost the same problems, my dad grew up in Mexico and my mom’s side is not really from Mexico but my family is pretty much half Mexican and white. And I will talk to my grandparents in English while there talking in Spanish and I am really trying to learn Spanish and three other languages as well so when was heard your story you made me want to not give up on learning but to also do it for me I am about to turn 14 and learning pretty much four languages is kind a hard but thank you for write this story and helping me understand.

    46. Chris Arnold

      Lol me and my grandma do this 😂 and (여보세요!)

    47. Adham Moussa

      Is there a discord

    48. Deedee Estrada

      I just wanted to say that I went through the exact same thing. I’m Hispanic. My parents speak both but they usually use Spanish with my brothers and I. I can understand it but I always responded in English because I was scared and ashamed at how weird my Spanish sounded so many of my relatives assume I can’t understand them since I can’t speak it. Now they know that I can understand and I’ve been getting better at speaking it but when I was younger I also strayed away from my Hispanic side because I was never like the others. I didn’t have an accent, people always assumed I was every other race/ethnicity but Hispanic, my brothers look white, etc. I’m glad to know that I am not alone in this identity crisis. It makes me feel like someone understands😊 Thank you for sharing your story because it gave me the courage to accept this part of myself even more and knowledge that I’m not alone in this🤗

    49. Dragonmaster디엠

      I can agree so much, Though for me, that was only a few years I am currently living in Korea, but I still don't have friends because I speak English more than Korean... ;-;

    50. echo nony

      ur character is pretty cute. (I subbed)

    51. ALPHAPAIN35


    52. Sakura Plaaayz

      This relates so much...Im from the philipines but I refused to speak its language.Bcuz i was raised in the philipines and was born in california.Doesnt make any sense right?Atleast i found friends that think im a very rare "hOoMaN".Im moving to california soon.But im going to miss my pure filipino friends.I still remember the time my friends told the whole class to speak english to us.I miss those days 😊

    53. Kuro Azrem

      I was even more "foreign" when I converted to Islam at the age of 13. And whenever I was treated like a foreigner, I loved it! However, I found out that being a convert sort of made you a second class Muslim in the eyes of many. So now I didn't even fell totally Muslim! I was sad. To this day I really don't identify with my country, and even if I no longer practize Islam, I feel more at home when talking about Pakistan or Morocco than being in my own homeland.

    54. Syd Bit

      I’m Chinese American and it’s like a juggle between which I feel like I belong to more. I look like I’m 100% white so whenever I visit an Asian market, etc I always feel so different and distant. It’s honestly a struggle. I hope I can get through this😅

    55. Kuro Azrem

      I'm Colombian, 100%. I live in that country, was born to two Colombian parents, yet I was (and kind of still am) ashamed of my nationality. I cling on to my very ancestral roots in places like Scotland, Croatia, North Africa, or Japan in order to feel pride. When I was a kid, I always loved Asian cultures, mainly due to my father's obsession with everything Asian. So, I wanted to be Asian (mostly Chinese) or German (my family and I are HUGE germanophiles, and yes, I do speak German). I think I understand when you want to be something else, and that you're frustrated for being who you are, and that sucks. However, at least in my country that is really common. A famous comedian here once said: "In Colombia nodody wants to be Colombian. The upper class wants to be European, the middle class want to be American, and the lower class want to be Mexican".

    56. Yanna Banana

      I've never related to a video much. I'm a Filipino living in the Philippines, but I SUCK at speaking in Filipino. I understand it, but I can't speak it very well WHICH IS A PROBLEM CAUSE EVEN THO ENGLISH IS A SECOND LANGUAGE HERE, PLENTY OF FILIPINOS CANT SPEAK IT OR UNDERSTAND IT. I wish schools here actually taught Filipino instead of assuming that everyone can understand it cause we live in the Philippines. Heck, even my Filipino speaking friends and classmates struggle with it.

    57. Leaq mcgee

      Yup same feeling here but just that i have two extra launguages that i didn’t like or feel passion for but my grades depends on those but its going horribly vad with two of them and excellent with one so i got No club rlly what to do i try to get better with them but i just cant No katter how hard i try and my grades and what my job can depend just if my main luangage is bad then my choice of Jobs Will get down to very very few ones to choose from and now my teacher is even giving me lower grade in English just cuz i have developed an accent to english and english is the one luangage that i really like and can help me with getting an good job well all i wanna say i didn’t have the same ride of an experience but i had What u would call the other side of the coin experience but not to the level of anxiety that u face with having to up front go against tradition

    58. cherryblossom _gacha games

      i cant add you on quidd

    59. Jana's corner

      Ok my story is a bit weird... I’m Egyptian I speak Arabic,I live in Egypt, I never left the country except one time to another Arabic country then came back,yet somehow I find myself always resorting to English to the point where my thinking process is completely in English and it somehow became harder for me to describe things in my native language it’s so weird idk how or why I’m like this..can anyone relate?please? I really don’t want to seem like a weirdo

    60. TheBrandonRobertDeux

      This hits home hella hard. My parents deliberately enforced the use of the English language from day 1 and ultimately I cannot only not understand Portuguese but I can't even speak it. This has resulted in all of my relatives (and I mean all of these fuckers) asking me, "Why don't you speak any Portuguese?" --- IN PORTUGUESE. I'm not saying it isn't beneficial but it hasn't gotten in the way except at family gatherings where I get to practice how to be a mute child with a remarkably active index finger.

    61. Lois Kim

      I can speak korean but cant read or write so I am learning a little from my mom and there are also things that I cant say so I'm happy I'm not the only one and I'm happy to learn about story too😊😊

    62. i am a Catt

      my dad forces me to speak chinese whenever im at home so i didnt pick this same thing that u had. otherwise i wouldve DEFINETLY done the same.

    63. PotatoNerd 2007

      I have lived in Malaysia for my entire life, and I STILL SUCK AT MALAY.

    64. Mr. Clay

      5:28 *Lowest grade is 88% so I cried* Boys who got 50%: 😃🥳🤩😏

    65. Ali

      I don't know why I'm just finding out about this channel, but I absolutely love it. Keep doing everything you're doing!!

    66. CGplayer 15

      I am a filipino but I cant speak tagalog and yet I am raised in the Philippines.

    67. milkman vrc

      I have never been to asia and my dad has fully embrased european culture but in groups I still feel like the outcast

    68. JustA_RandomNormal

      11:27 well yea bc u know why

    69. Kenna Ryan

      This was really interesting to watch from the perspective of an extremely Americanized white person, who's always somewhat envied those who have a close connection to their heritage. I guess the grass rly is always greener on the other side. I'm really happy for you that you're learning to accept yourself :)

    70. JuneThe EpicWeeb

      my god I act like that-