Feeling guilty | Glow up Diaries Episode 16

Alivia D'Andrea

Alivia D'Andrea

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    ❒ Episode 16 was filmed: April 2019 - August 2019
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    ABOUT THE GLOW UP DIARIES: At rock bottom I picked up a camera and began documenting my physical and mental pain that seemingly existed without meaning. For the next two years I recorded the “Glow Up Diaries” which is a raw docu-series of my deepest, most painful moments in an effort to find a newer, brighter existence. I openly share my difficulties despite the insistence of the media that such “shameful” feelings be kept in a closet.

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    ➩ Episode 15: de-news.net/online/video-81dqaLHYfRk.html

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    Am Vor 16 Tage


    1. Alivia D'Andrea

      NOTE: My thought process and mindset has taken a complete 180. Who I was in this episode is not who I am now. New episodes of Season 2 of the Glow up Diaries (the final season) will be released every Wednesday beginning end of October 2020!! Subscribe and turn on the bell notification to get notified when I post!! You can also follow the glow up diary instagram account for updates: @a.glow.up.diary

      1. zoe rice

        @chamcham123 she has lots of lives on her second instagram account, and constantly reminds us of how great she is doing now. It would be pretty difficult not to think she's doing better, given she says in text at the beginning of every episode.

      2. chamcham123

        zoe rice That remains to be seen. We won’t really get an idea of what she knows (or her current state) until season 2. She also mentioned (i think on Instagram) that she will make a shock announcement in October when the new season starts. I have no idea what it might be. But i guess we will all find out.

      3. zoe rice

        @chamcham123 your advice is doing nothing right now, this was a year ago and she doesnt even live in Taiwan anymore. She probably knows that by now.

      4. chamcham123

        I think you need to learn to cook easy and simple dishes. I am not familiar with Taiwanese cuisine, but i’m sure they must have many tasty fruits and vegetables. You don’t need to eat apples all the time.

      5. chamcham123

        So sad to see American junk foods killing you. I think you would have been better off just sticking to Taiwanese food (even for binges).

    2. Laura López


    3. monica escobar

      Has she addressed if she tried therapy in the states or Taiwan and why it didn’t help ?

    4. Vasudha Arjun

      I’m so sad that season 2 is last but I’m happy for you that u developed a very good relation ship with food u literally don’t know jaiw much u have inspired me ! Thank you ☺️:) 💜🦋👑

      1. Vasudha Arjun

        How much *

    5. Sawmya Thakur

      You overcomed your vision?

    6. Satan Sir Binh Hg

      remember put on face mask when you go out babe.

    7. Лиза Нестерцова

      idk who are that people who dizlike

    8. Dora Diaz

      TRIGGER WARNING ... I have always felt guilty about about eating. I only allow myself to eat one meal a day and I still feel guilty after eating it. Also, it is currently 4 AM and I fell asleep at 11 without doing my daily workout and I woke up to go to the bathroom, but I feel like I have to do my workout ... I WANT TO BE SKINNY

    9. park kii

      I really love how you took as with all your process. Because mostly rn everyone just shares the easy parts and how they just did that that that's and losed weight. And your not just losing weight it's being healthy and happy, thank you for making me realize that ♥️✨ your one of the most amazing and strong ppl I have ever seen♥️

    10. Kelia Chien

      This Inspired me to do a video on fitness

    11. Janet Draws

      I just watched your 60 sec of acne and you have no acne! How did you do it?

    12. Jordan Cloud

      damn this should be a netflix series

    13. Fayith Mitchell

      Omg I just found your channel and this video was so beautifully edited and put together 🥰thank you so much for sharing your story❤️💕id love if you checked out my channel 😊❣️

    14. Iona

      This reminds me of me a few years back. I appreciate your honesty in documenting your process. Looking forward to season 2! Much like you now, I'm in a better place although I was diagnosed with body dysmorphia. Let's keep moving forward, looking after ourselves and growing. Can't wait to learn more about developing a healthy body image. It's tough when you are a healthy weight and workout but you still hate how you look. Like, even now I'll spend hours on makeup and looking good but still feel I look awful. I hope I develop positive body image one day. I'm grateful to be healthy and proud of how far I've come over the last few years.

    15. renaissance soda

      I want to gain weight, have curves, a clear skin...and this series is motivating me a lot. Even though we aren't in the same path, we want the same goal, which is self love. Of course our dream bodies, a clear skin, a healthy lifestyle...but self-love being the main and core of those other goals. I'm walking with you, you are a role model and an inspiration. I live my life saying "well I'll start when..." Or "rn I can't get to it because" lies lies lies. You are amazing. I'm 16 I'm taking charge of my own life Thank you.

    16. Miss Bubbles

      I’ve been through the same exact process and I guess we’re the same age. I am now finally at a point where I’m loving myself and accepting that I simply have to find the things that feel good to be able to keep everything balanced. I’m still figuring out a lot of things around food and excersize. But I’m not in the bad mindset anymore. At least, I’m getting out of it. It’s not completely gone yet. I’m happy that these type of things show that you’re really not the only one who goes through such things

    17. 5k with no video Challenge

      Alivia : my mindset has taken a complete 180. Me : don’t do it. Also me : did a full 180 🎶

    18. Eva Oceana Falaga

      I just need season 2 because it’s the only thing that’s keeping me together. Because agghh.

    19. 김유이

      DE-news needs more channels like this one here! Can’t wait for the next season! We’ll fight together!

    20. Mamoni Bagang Mamoni Bagang

      15:09 she smiled I had tears in my eyes... her smile is so pure....I just found her videos today n it made me feel so good I'm cryinggggg....

    21. Tereza Fišerová

      Honestly, I know what you have been going through. I have the same problem. I mean in mind you know what you should do, but then... the reality kicks in. And some days I feel just so motivated and so beautiful while the other sucks and I jut wanna lay in the bed with my long shirt on and eat. Anything. Previous two years I have been in a relationship with a guy who is in a great shape and lifts weights and I love to work out too and just be active, but he broke up with me multiple times claiming that I have became fat since we started dating, but the truth is that I just continuously loose and gain 5 kg. It is not easy to put up with my mind and thoughts after the final break up a few weeks ago when he told me that we would be a great couple but I am just not pretty enough.

    22. Stardreamer Art

      It might be hard at 18 but it’ll get better. Just expect moments like this as you go on through the years. Just keep trying alivia. Embrace you. There’s more to you than your weight but it’s how you feel. Do it to feel good not bad have conversations with yours but don’t shame yourself. Don’t put too much pressure on “glowing up” that stuff happens naturally in time as you practice to be good to yourself. But yeah best of luck!

    23. MF MB

      Followed your journey so far, and i am extremely grateful for you sharing this story that i believe many of us go through in silence, thank you for the raw content and the motivation. im so glad you are in a better place and will continue to evolve! mucho love and positive vibes for you Alivia (:

    24. Mz

      I feel like this is a reflection of my life the only thing different its that i ve never love myself.

    25. Teahyung Kim

      Please LOVE YOURSELF 🤗💜

    26. Elena Afisopoulou

      Honey you are beautiful

    27. Louida Cherelus

      im not trying to be mean or anything or throw shade but you can get a therapist to help you with your eating habits or something like that. And your perfect just the way you are the reason your hurt is because your doing something your not comfortable with or not being yourself instead of binge eating eat a salad or something healthy that will fill you

    28. Savage Boi2

      TBH it's really weird because I have been watching Olivia since she first started. And watch the glow up diary changed a lot. We can tell she was going through a really hard time trying to fit in society and their expectation. It's sad but I'm happy she got to where she is now.

    29. Lilian Igwe

      I'm starting my glowup now after watching various of your videos,I start today Aug13 still my birthday October 9th to see my change,you have given me hope.

    30. 1 million subscribers with no videos challenge

      I'm so mad at myself for missing this episode, but 'm here now to watch it. And Alivia, you're doing amazing, girl! We all love you SO MUCH for making this series. Thank you.

    31. Lulu Khalid

      i don't think she understands how amazing and relatable she is.in soceity people will only want to show you the good and perfect side of their life but she shows you all her setbacks and mistakes but also how she gets back up again. i cant wait for season 2!!!!!!!

    32. Cloudy Chan

      Come on you can do it you can lose weight just if you see food ignore it and I’ll tell you what You can do this I believe in you I love you

    33. Cloudy Chan


    34. Juliette Schofield

      thank you for editing out the weight numbers. thank you. i'm in ED recovery, so that would have been really triggering, but when you beeped them out i felt so safe and i knew you were looking out for your viewers! thank you

    35. no name_022

      I don’t know if you will see this but PLEASE look up arbonne is a all natural vegan company and it works amazingly!!! Both my mom and I have used it and it clears your skin up so nice I would totally recommend it cause I just saw your other video on acne and I want to help you with love M😚✨ okay my edit.... your skin looks so freaking good if you don’t want acne treatment there is lots of other stuff plus thing other than just skin care ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    36. maria eduarda sousa ribeiro

      im brazilian( this doesn't matter :) well i was in de badder week in this quarentine, i give up of do my school things, i give up of workout, i give up of myself. when i watched u it was the point of start for me think about me, and how this will affect in my future bc i make my future,and i can do whatever i want but this depends of me so im staring my new routine. and i appreciate u so much thanku for changed my life, and i cant wait for season 2, love from brazil

    37. Haley Pfaff

      i was wondering if anyone wanted to start a glow up challenge with me and be my buddy? I dont have any friends or family that will be able to do it with me. I feel like it would help if i had someone to do it with and we can help eachother ♡︎ i am looking for someone around the age of 12 or 13 and if you want to reply and we can reach out to eachother? Even if not i believe in you no matter what

      1. 1 million subscribers with no videos challenge

        Hey, I'm 13 and I'm trying to glow up. As much as I can, anyway, in this house where my mom yells at me for trying to be healthy and eat right.

    38. Payton Jones

      Is this bad that I finished season one in less then 22 hours

    39. Madeleine Pousar

      I just found this channel and omg I have fallen in love! I am so inspired by you Alivia!

    40. Γιωτα Σ.

      That was really amazing. Thank you for all the effort 💖 i will remember you while i am changing and changed

    41. Hijab Fatima

      Can you share that book name please?💙

    42. Hijab Fatima

      Can you share the book name please?💙

    43. pink unicorn

      13:35 what the 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒌

    44. Manisha Sharma Tiwari

      My hand look for my water bottle now when I see her drinking water..thank you 💜

    45. mam e3ya

      life's unfair. People like her puts so much effort on losing weight while those people with fast metabolism could just eat what ever they want and still be skinny.

    46. chamcham123

      Does anyone else wonder if something traumatic happened to her during childhood? I just get these weird vibes from her. Like something wasn’t right. I hope i’m wrong.

    47. Me Me

      I also start to try to lose wet but when I getting to grow up it’s happened to lose wet by one lol

    48. Bow Hearty

      If you want any advice, I suffered badly from binging and I think you need to focus on things other than diet, exercise, your weight and your appearance... it seems the main focus of your days! Even if you are trying to be more "healthy" but the goal is still to lose weight. Find hobbies and lifestyle and connections with friends that make you feel so full and content you don't even worry about the size of your jeans or how many calories you ate. There is so much more to life, you are slim and gorgeous, find a fulfilling life and don't worry too much about trying to "glow up" or lose weight or have a perfect healthy diet. It's hard but so worth it!

    49. Fofohhk Jafar

      15:47 I wish I can have that beautiful relationship with my dad ....💔

    50. Sub Because I'm Canadian

      Only boys can like this comment.

    51. Nin Yuh

      i'm currently in a place where i don't even know what's wrong. but i KNOW there is something wrong. it has been bugging me for the past few years but i've just been swatting it away. watching this series has made me feel motivated. idek. thank you for sharing your story to us, alivia. glad you're currently in your happy place right now. can't wait for season 2. to those who have yet found their happy place like me, i'm sure we can all reach it, soon. take care of yourselves out there. : )

    52. vishwas jajpura

      Can you make a handstand rotuine

      1. Alivia D'Andrea

        Here you go: de-news.net/online/video-oLt5RXhch8E.html

    53. Darzamlien Infimate

      i need a tough! self love....♡best of luck to all...

    54. 18 78

      i think youre using your brain as an excuse

    55. Alannah Lee

      Your diaries are so powerful and have so much hope I love them.

    56. Dung 2k Tìm Bạn Tâm Sự Vào Timbanvn xyz

      25:43 Bao giờ mới có người. 👩

    57. Ayesha

      That is literally me right now. I exercise and still not happy. And whenever I eat I regret it and.... I'm not good at explaining but her video is exactly EXACTLY me right now. How did you get over all that 😭😭😭😭😭😭

    58. Rose-Marie Lundholm

      Funny how when you ate that big apple you thought you were going to gain weight because it's "extra calories". But when I eat a big apple I think I'm going to lose weight because the apple will get me full and then I won't eat anything for dinner.

    59. kove04z

      Can someone tell what is that that she did with the tape

    60. Tracy Makheti

      This series really helps me because you get to be in the journey with Alivia, feel the pain and want to be the best version of yourself. I have learnt so much and I also hope to Glow up as she has.

    61. Lee Do Rin

      Am I the only one who actually does workout to lift up her mood and feel better about herself?

    62. Viktoria Rose

      Olivia ur beautiful

    63. Marcelly Ferri

      This video looks like it was made for me

    64. Dark lapis

      Honestly if you are in a healthy weight you don't need to lose more it's just not worth it im obese and I lost 18 pounds because i got help from my family in mexico i saw a nutritionist and she helped me so much i went from 220 to 202 im so happy and i want to go below 200 i just want to lose weight for me to livelonger and to move more have more energy i love your videos too

    65. Ohemaa Bruce

      IQ , EQ , SQ , AQ .....According to psychologists, there are four types of intelligence: 1) Intelligence Quotient (IQ) 2) Emotional Quotient (EQ) 3) Social Quotient (SQ) 4) Adversity Quotient (AQ) 1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ): this is the measure of your comprehension ability", solve maths; memorize things and recall subject matters. 2. Emotional Quotient (EQ): this is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others; keep to time; be responsible; be honest; respect boundaries; be humble, genuine and considerate. 3. Social Quotient (SQ): This is the measure of your ability to build a network of friends and maintain it over a long period of time. People that have higher EQ and SQ tend to go farther in life than those with high IQ but low EQ and SQ. Most schools capitalize in improving IQ level while EQ and SQ are played down. A man of high IQ can end up being employed by a man of high EQ and SQ even though he has an average IQ. Your EQ represents your character; your SQ represents your charisma. Give in to habits that will improve these three Qs but more especially your EQ and SQ. EQ and SQ make one manage better than the other. Pls don't teach children only to have higher IQ , but also to have higher EQ and SQ. Now there is a 4th one : A new paradigm 4. The Adversity Quotient (AQ): The measure of your ability to go through a rough patch in life and come out without losing your mind. AQ determines who will give up in face of troubles and may abandon their families. *To parents*: Expose children to other areas of life than academic. They should adore manual work (never use work as a form of punishment), sport and art . Develop their EQ, SQ and AQ. They should become multifaceted human beings able to do things independently of the parents. Finally, do not prepare the road for the children. *Prepare the children for the road*. Robert Dzekle Myles

    66. reiokei

      Alivia, I'm not a fitness coach or anything. I barely know enough about losing weight. But stop making yourself feel bad by binging. The only way to lose weight is by a caloric deficit. If your diets consist of the everyday, broccoli, chicken, and rice, and oats. Then you're going to relapse into binging. Please watch Greg doucette. He's taught me everything I know about eating and feeling satisfied. I don't binge because I feel content with my eating habits and diet. I bought his cookbook because losing weight doesn't need to be boring. I can eat pizzas and burgers and sweets and still lose weight while feeling full. I'm not bragging, no, that's not what this comment is about. But please watch Greg doucette. He's changed the way my diet has been. I'm much happier and can eat my diet every day and feel full.

    67. Katie Delight

      I realize I have an unhealthy mindset with my body. I workout, eat normally, and the numbers on the scale stay the same or higher. I need to realize that the numbers are not that important, keep a healthy schedule, and mindset.

    68. seraphina

      I, relate, to, you, 100%

    69. Stefanie Manners

      Alivia I hope you realise how many people your helping. Thank you

    70. Amanda Barbosa

      This made me cry because is exactly where I am today